Horrid Henry - World Book Day and Author Visit
by Philip Glenister tomboy
Summary: Ashton Primary School have the annual World Book Day and Horrid Henry's favourite author T.J Fizz is coming to visit his Year 6 class, will he get to see her and the children have a successful day?


Horrid Henry: World Book Day and Author Visit.

 **Aston Primary School were having World Book Day and children's authors coming to visit their pupils. T.J Fizz, Milksop Miles and David Walliams are the visitors who read them sneak previews of their newest books recently published. But Miss. Boudicca Battleaxe sends Henry out of class in disgrace - Henry knows he has to find a way to meet T.J Fizz who is his favourite author in the whole wide world.**

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Horrid Henry woke up feeling strange stretching his arms outwards as he yawned in his stripey blue pyjamas nudging the yellow duvet, his long brunette hair in a dishoveled mess from sleep; feeling an unusual vibe that is normally reserved for non school days.

Henry felt strange, a mixture of happiness and excitement; but why? There were many possible reasons in his mind: was it the weekend, was it a day off school or had Miss. Battleaxe been kidnapped by dictatorship aliens and was transported to another galaxy to slave in the salt mines? Unfortunately not!

So why was he feeling so excited on a school day? He clicked his left finger and then Horrid Henry remembered before getting dressed and going down for breakfast.

Oh wow! It was World Book Day at Henry's school (Ashton Primary), and his favourite author in the whole wide world; T.J Fizz, the author of the stupendous _Ghost Quest_ , _Mad Machines_ and _Skelton Skunks_ was coming to talk to his Year 6 class. There were brightly coloured attractive posters dotted around Ashton Primary, photographs of World Book Days past, displays and it detailed which authors were going to pay a special visit.

The younger juniors had David Walliams to visit - he is considered the Roald Dahl of the 21st Century with sessions split between Year 3-5 as his publications combine nonsensical words, slapstick illustrations with comical wordplay like _The World's Naughtiest Children, Gangsta Granny, The Boy in the Dress and A Father for Every Occasion_.

Meanwhile the infants up to Year 2 have Milksop Miles - the author of Perfect Peter's favourite fictional stories _The Happy Nappy_ and was also a self confessed hippy as he mostly wore 60s style glasses, a tie dye t-shirt, loon pants and socks with sandals.

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Mum peered through the door into Horrid Henry's dark bedroom with the hallway light still on to ensure he isn't doing secret reading of comics with his torch. Henry had read every single one of T.J's brilliant books, even after lights out! He was secretly under the duvet with a torch held lit up near the black text.

Rude Ralph thought they were almost good as _Mutant Max_ comics. Horrid Henry thought they were even better as each book contained a spine tingling and spooky tale, well worthy of being adapted for television or film.

Perfect Peter bounced into big brother Henry's room; he had blonde curly hair, wearing a brown jumper, yellow trousers and holding a non descript green book in his right hand.

"Isn't it exciting, Henry?" said Peter. "Our class is going to meet a real live author! Milksop Miles is coming today. He's the man who wrote _The Happy Nappy_. Do you think he'd sign my copy?" the younger boy trilled.

Henry snorted, thinking anyone who written such a book, must be delusional to write about talking nappies with even crappier names. A thought came into his mind rating the tragedy of such a book serial. _The Happy Nappy!_ Only the dumbest book ever. All these giant nappies with hideous names like Rappy Nappy, Zappy Nappy then there's Tappy Nappy dancing and prancing about. And there's the truly horrible Gappy Nappy who was always wailing "I'm leaking!"

Horrid Henry shuddered imagining this mystery author whose clothes were last trendy in 1969-1973 with a beige paper bag on his head with nothing but a green pencil to show for it. He was amazed that Milksop Miles dared to show his face after writing such a boring book.

Henry and Peter have their usual arguments in the lounge room "Only a wormy toad like you could like such a stupid story," said Henry "it is written by a past it former hippy who hasn't heard of music after Glastonbury 1973."

"It's not stupid," wailed Perfect Peter who wanted to defend his favourite author from the onslaught of his much older brother Henry's narrow minded views.

"Is too," answered Henry.

"Is not. And he's bringing his guitar. Miss. Lovely said so." retorted Perfect Peter face to face with his older brother.

"Big deal," said Horrid Henry. "We've got T.J Fizz." Perfect Peter shuddered at the content of at Henry's favourite author "Her books are too scary," said Peter. He imagined a woman who had a love of horror stories and gory movies.

"That's 'cause you're a baby." smiled Horrid Henry.

"MUM!" shrieked Peter "Henry, called me a baby!" Mum comes rushing into the lounge to separate the boys and said firmly "Don't be horrid, Henry! Stop insulting your little brother's choice of author or there'll be no computer games for the rest of today."

"Tell tale," hissed Henry.

"Don't be horrid, Henry!" shouted Mum.

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Horrid Henry sat in his Year 6 class with a huge carrier bag filled with all his T.J Fizz books. Everyone in the class had drawn book covers for _Ghost Quest_ and _Ghouls' Jewels_ , and written their own Skelton Skunk fan-fiction story. Henry's of course was one of the best illustrations.

He would give it to T.J Fizz if she paid him a million pounds, Henry imagined his favourite female horror author giving him a cheque for £1000,000 with the Skelton Skunk meets Terminator Gladiator fan art on her newest publication.

It was 10:20 am, ten more minutes to go as the liliac classroom clock seemed like it was moving in very slow motion watching paint dry. How could he live until it was time for her to arrive?

Miss. Boudicca Battleaxe cleared her throat and in her Scottish brogue announced "Year 6 class, we have a very important guest coming. I know you're all very excited; but I will not tolerate anything but perfect behaviour today. Anyone who misbehaves will be sent out. Is that clear?" She glared at Henry.

Miss. Boudicca Battleaxe was wearing her glasses, stood in front of the whole class of 10-11 year olds and meant business.

Henry scowled back a secret message to his teacher, of course he would be perfect. T.J Fizz was arriving at Ashton Primary School!

"Has everyone thought of a good question to ask her? I'll write the best ones on the board," continued Miss. Battleaxe as she was writing up questions holding a whiteboard marker facing the whiteboard with a red pen in motion, it squeaked as the pen wrote on the board.

"How much money do you make?" shouted Rude Ralph.

"How many TVs do you have?" asked Horrid Henry.

"Do you like fudge?" said Greedy Graham.

"I said _good_ questions!" snapped Miss. Battleaxe walking over to a table waiting for the last question since Bert was busy thinking of an original question, but came up blank "Bert, what's your question for T.J Fizz?" concentrating hard.

"I dunno," said Beefy Bert with blonde short hair, a black t-shirt and a grey jacket.

Henry's stomach went rumble, rumble, rumble three times as the acid inside burbled.

Oops. Henry's tummy was telling him it was snacktime.

It must be all the excitement of the prospect of T.J Fizz visiting and World Book Day in Ashton Primary. It was strictly forbidden to eat in class, but Henry was a master sneaker.

 _A younger Henry raids the kitchen cupboard for his white sweets tin with some already on the worktop using a brown stool and beige parcel to reach, wobbling precariously on each other struggling to hold a then 8 year old Horrid Henry's weight._

He certainly wouldn't want his stomach to gurgle while T.J Fizz was talking.

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Miss. Battleaxe was writing Clever Claire's eight questions on the whiteboard while ensuring her year sixes were paying attention to the front of the classroom. Slowly, carefully and silently Horrid Henry opened his lunchbox under the table; easing open the bag of crisps.

Horrid Henry looked to the left spotting Rude Ralph who is waving his hand in the air, a form of unspoken code. Then Horrid Henry glanced to the right, noticing Greedy Graham drooling and opening a bag of sweets.

The coast was clear! Henry popped some _Super Spicy Hedgehog_ crisps into his mouth, munch crunch the pre made potato hedgehogs went as he ate. But the latter asked his best friend for some "Come on, Henry, give me some crisps!" whispered Rude Ralph.

"No," hissed Horrid Henry "eat your own." holding the packet of _Super Spicy Hedgehog_ crisps to himself near his trademark blue and yellow jumper.

"I'm starving," moaned Greedy Graham "Gimme a crisp."

MUNCH CRUNCH YANK!

"Huh?" a surprised Horrid Henry though as the frame of his teacher loomed over his table sensing a demon with a sharp pointy nose, steely eyes and greying hair.

Miss. Battleaxe towered over him holding aloft his bag of crisps, her red eyes could almost see through secret snack eating and were like two icy daggers.

"What did I tell you, Henry?" said Miss. Boudicca Battleaxe pointing towards the Year 6 classroom door "No bad behaviour would be tolerated! Go to Miss. Lovely's class!"

Henry gripped his fists frowning at Miss Battleaxe "Grrrrrrrr!" on his desk and left in humilation with the Year 6 classroom door shutting loudly.

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Years 3, 4 and 5 had a collection of zany drawings on their displays inspired by David Walliams illustrations, photos of pupils as his well known charactors and their short stories using the wordplay of his books. Henry thought about how could someone write about nonsense into a full fledged published book? The dread of visiting the Infants made his stomach churn as he was remembering the occasions of being asked to watch Vicious Vicky and Vomiting Vera for his cousins and Sour Susan's parents.

In Ashton Primary's infants department with Lydia Lovely, Milksop Miles could be overheard reading a passage from _The Happy Nappy_ to Perfect Peter's class"Can you find the leak?" 'No' answered the giant nappies with Gappy Nappy wailing pitfully "I'm leaking!" as usual.

"Who would like to sing the Happy Nappy song, boys and girls?" asked Milksop Miles who brought out his accoustic guitar starting to strum along "Yay!" cheered the infants, Henry couldn't bear this a moment longer. He could join in with the singing replacing some of the lyrics with rude words; but this would get him sent to Miss. Oddbod's office instead.

"Arrrrrrgggggh!" snarled Horrid Henry in anger, who couldn't tolerate this a moment longer.

# Oh I'm a happy nappy #

# A happy clappy nappy #

# I keep you snug and dry through the night #

The song continues as the infants burbled along to the words and danced along to the guitar.

Henry snuck out on tip toes when Milksop Miles unravelled a giant nappy with a hideous smile and said "Woah, there little boy! Come and join in with the Happy Nappy fun." if Horrid Henry's other tough mates found out, his name would be mud and wouldn't be able to live it down.

Henry pretended to be scared of the white cloth representing a nappy shape and walked backwards in sheer terror "Oh dear," replied Lydia Lovely "It's not the first time children have been scared of my giant nappy." said Milksop Miles puzzled at why Horrid Henry leapt back in fright.

Henry walks through the corridor to Year 6 his own classroom, he was in time for T.J Fizz's visit phew!

Isn't life sweet when Henry was read a passage from one of T.J Fizz's latest books.

Ashton Primary School had a fancy dress competiton based on favourite book charactors from many different age groups of its 3-11 year old cohort for the school's World Book Day photographs with teaching assistants going around the hall with digital bridge cameras for each of the seven classes stood in a row according to their sizes and height.

Miss. Oddbod stood at the front of the hall to speak into the microphone system set up "World Book Day has been a tremendous success here at Ashton Primary; what a lovely turnout of your favourite book characters and the effect you have all put into your costumes," she continued the whole school speech "We wish to thank the authors who have generously given up their spare time for Ashton Primary School's World Book Day." The teachers and visiting authors gave a round of applause stood from their seats owing to the day's success.


End file.
